I keep catching myself taking a long, deep breath in through my nose, and then gently and quickly exhaling. If you were to see me do it, you might think it's an expression of frustration or trying to stay calm. But it's the opposite.
It's more like a breath of gratitude for the present... a reminder that our life is changing, and the breath is my effort to soak in the moments that are quickly flying by.
I feel that Little Wonder do what feels like a somersault in my belly and I take that breath. I wonder what he will bring to our family, what he will look like, how we will adjust, and what it will feel like to know that our family is complete.
When that magnificent girl with the big round eyes asks me those big round questions, I take that breath. Just this week I was faced with questions about the judicial system, mental illness, and why that boy working at the grocery store looked and sounded like a girl. She asks important and intelligent questions, one after another. She wants to know so much, and she's looking to me for the answers, and I'll answer them all day long if I have to.
And our sweet goofy Munchkin Boy. When I think about how he is going to make the switch from the being the baby in the family to the middle child, I take that breath. The middle child sometimes gets a bad rap, and I can't imagine him being anything but the most flawless little goosh of baby sweetness that ever lived.
On a daily basis I'm reminded of our fortunate circumstances: our good health, our peaceful life, our exciting future. I'm reminded that these things aren't guaranteed, and they may not last forever, and I take that breath.
I just don't want to miss anything! Or take anything for granted! I don't want to have that dreaded "looking back" moment where I wish I would have been paying more attention. I'm paying attention, I'm thankful for this moment, and I'm hopeful for the next moment, each time I take that breath.