Mr. Universe

If you are 9 months pregnant and it's super hot and humid and mosquito-ey outside, and you don't want to be in bed by 8 on Friday night, but you don't want to leave your living room, have your husband/SO/BFF pick up a take & bake pizza and make a stop at the movie machine to grab Jim Gaffigan, Mr. Universe.

But don't blame me if you laugh so hard that you die (I thought I was going to), or your water breaks (I grabbed a towel to sit on!), or you end up laugh-sobbing with your mascara all over your face (me), or your pizza on your shirt (husband).

I know, I should review movies for a living.

They Don't Make'em Like They Used To...

Rockstars, that is. I just heard Fleetwood Mac on the radio and totally geek-jammed in front of my daughter (already embarrassed of her mother at the tender age of seven and a half). Then I found this pic and decided that these guys look some kind of cool that we just don't see anymore. Artists/performers/celebrities "these days" look so over-groomed. It's no secret that they all have somebody telling them what to say, what to sing, what to tweet, what to wear. We hear their song on the radio 100 times a day for a month and never hear it again.

Do you think Mr. Buckingham was TOLD to wear those brown socks with his platform sandals? Yeah, I doubt it. But 40-some years later, I'm groovin' in my mommy-wagon to his song that came out before I was even born (in Sophie's defense, it really was embarrassing). 

 

 If you need me I'll be double checking that that is a piece of hair Ms.Stevie has in between her thumb and her index finger (this is a family blog).

Thoughts on Pregnancy (from people who have most likely never been pregnant)

Long time no see. Hey listen, I've been busy. I've been knitting, and writing patterns, and nesting. And eating. Ok?
So I'll make it up to you with a BlogSpot exclusive.

There's a long list of things I don't do on the internet. One is Bump Shots. Another is Self Portraiture. I have nothing again seeing other people's, it just not something I do. BUT JUST THIS ONCE, to prove to you that I am pregnant (36 weeks!), and to go along with my theme for this post, I will divulge the bulge:

 Trust me when I tell you that objects in mirror are larger than they appear. So large, in fact, that no matter where I go, I get to hear about it. If you are or have been pregnant you know that having that belly might as well be a flashing sign that says: PLEASE! TELL ME WHAT YOU ARE THINKING, HONESTLY! Most of the time, it's questions about due date, gender, names, how many kids you already have... sometimes women want to tell you all about their own pregnancies or their daughters, etc. Totally fine, quite expected, always well intended.
Other times, um, it seems like people forget to process their thought before it comes out of their mouth, and I've accumulated a list of faves from all 3 of my gestation periods.

Two of the best came from my very own sweet little freckle face, during this pregnancy.
  OOOGHK! Mom! Your belly button! That's disgusting! ...uh, I mean, it's really big. Sorry?

 She asked me to sit down with her at our child size table and chairs, as she pulled out the chair she said:
Here ya go, don't break the chair! I mean, because you're big. Because you're pregnant.
(Can't say the girl doesn't know how to back pedal.)

First PG, I was HUGE. Like GI-NORM'. And my Grandma (bless her soul) who had no filter, and unintentionally offended her loved ones on a regular basis said:
Oh, Honey Girl... how are you going to loose all that weight?
(I don't know, Grandma. Love you though.)

The question 'when are you due?' is sometimes a tricky one if you're a tad on the large size early on in the game.
During my first PG, this big ol' friendly guy (with his own bulging belly, I might add) asked when I was due. Upon my response, his eyeballs popped out of his head and he said:
GEEEEZE!! Ya' havin' TWINS!?
(No sir, thank you, are YOU?)

A lady at the gas station asked me the same just a couple weeks ago and when I to her I wasn't having twins, her response:
OH! Well, you look great, actually.
(Thank you ma'am. Thank you for your opinion. You look great too.)

Chatting at a small town festival during the 3rd tri of baby #1, a sweet young girl said:
I bet you are excited to be able to wear cute clothes again.
(Because apparently you think my big maternity shirt is ugly.)

At a party about a month ago, while getting together for a group picture, the lovely person taking the photo said:
Hey, stand next to Jami, you'll look small!
(Don't stand too close, I might eat you!)

And maybe the strangest, most inappropriate, during PG #2, I was minding my own business pushing my cart in the Target parking lot and an old man yelled out across the row:
 Excuse me, ma'am? God Bless you for not having an abortion.
(Say what? I just looked at him and blinked with my mouth open ready to respond, but to this day I still haven't thought of one. Bizarre!)

I know, people are funny. I really never take offense. If anyone has ever put her foot in her mouth, it's this girl. Maybe that's why my daughter has become so good at back-pedaling?

Just wanted to share and check in. I'll be back soon (ha!). If you need me I'll be having a snack and then I'll probably organize a cupboard, and maybe after that I'll have another snack.
xoxo




 

Pattern Specs

As promised...

Below you'll find the yarn specs on my current patterns. At this point the main yarns used in my shop have been Lion Brand: Cotton Ease, and Michael's exclusive Loops and Threads: Impeccable. After my first few dozen hat sales I discovered I had to use yarn that was a good value, easily accessible, and available in colorways that I love. As I continue to create more patterns for you, I'm looking forward to working with a greater variety of yarns.

For the Knubby Girls Hat with Flowers (infant sizes):

 and for the Ribbed Boys Beanie with Visor:

This post will have a link on the right side of the main blog page (if I can figure out how to do that...) and will be updated as more patterns are added. Oh, and there are so many more to come. xoxo

UPDATE* 7/16
Okay, so I haven't been updating these specs as often as I planned! If you're wondering what type of yarn I used on the samples, so far it's mostly been the Lion Brand Cotton Ease. I have a huge stash of it, and I just love it (and I haven't had much of a chance to do any good yarn shopping). Check it out at Joann's online, or knitting-warehouse.com for the best price.

If I can answer any specific questions for you, please don't hesitate to contact me. My Etsy Conversations are most frequently checked, and I have no problem sharing "secrets" or offering help/advice.

HAPPY KNITTING!

Sunday Signage: Create a Life

Source: french-voguettes.tumblr.com via Jami on Pinterest

I love love love this so much.

 



K, I did it...

If you were to sneak up on me about 5 minutes ago you'd find me at my computer with my head down, scrunchy face, shaking my hair, and flapping my hands back and forth. Apparently it's the final step in my creative process. Complete and total butterflies the minute I'm ready to present something I've never done, that I'm proud of, and that I've worked really hard on.

I just listed my first patterns!

I have boat load more launching soon, which won't be so hard on me. The water is still a little cold, I just have to get warmed up. Wink.

(If you've come to find details on the materials and supplies, I'm heading off to work on it for you right now! Stop back!)

E.B. Comes Clean

 

"Mom, tell me honestly."  She said as she turned off the vacuum. She has a thing for cleaning. I don't make her do it. When she has down time during the day and starts to feel like she might want to stir up some trouble she starts cleaning. Yeah, I know.

I'm thinking,  Uh-oh... she's been vacuuming in for a while (she even took off the cushions and did the inside of the furniture. I KNOW!), this must be serious. I hope it's not what I'm thinking... it is going to be what I'm thinking... quick... should I tell her, and if so how... quick Jami, THINK!

"Is the Easter Bunny real, or who is doing that? Is it you?"

THINK! Poker face! Get it together, Woman!

"Well, what do YOU think Sophie? Do you want to believe or do you not want to believe? Because you know what happens when you don't believe..."

Nice, that will buy me another couple seconds to decide if I'm going to lie straight to her sweet, freckled  face and keep her little a little longer.

"I don't know, I just want you to tell me. Tell me the truth, please."

What am I supposed to DO?

"You want to know the truth?"

Shoot. [Insert nervous giggle]

I feel like my face is made of Jell-o and it's jiggling out of control, I can't make it do anything, and I think I'm starting to lose feeling in my legs.

Should I tell her, is she going to cry? Am I going to cry? Yes and most definitely YES.

"Because I feel like it's not real."

"Well, the Easter Bunny is real. But I am the one who puts the candy out."

Did I just say that out loud? I think she's confused. Good, that will buy me some more time to back out of this and keep her innocent. [Insert a momentary black-out]

"So YOU are the Easter Bunny?" I hear her say as I regain consciousness. She's smiling with her face, but frowning with her eyes, so I have no idea what's going on.

Do you remember that show from the 80's where the girl put her two index fingers together and it paused time? WHAT WAS THAT SHOW? I'll figure that out later, but in this moment I was wishing for that skill. So I could get my act together and handle this in a manner that won't scar her for life.

"I put the candy and everything out, but technically I'm not the Easter Bunny. The Easter Bunny is sort of an idea that parents help bring to life for their kids."

My giggles fade into tears.

I was just looking at her, not even seeing her in the moment, it was like I was watching the little baby version of her growing up and up and up, and out of my reach like a balloon that somehow slipped away.

"I KNEW IT!" ...and tears for her too. She sort of stomped away to a spot where I couldn't see her.

"This is a big deal, Sophie. Come here, we can talk about it."

For the next hour she asked a ba-jillion questions surrounded by long pauses. She admitted that she wished she hadn't found out, but she decided she was glad to know the truth. She was happy most of all to know that E.B. would still be showing up, and that she'd still have a fun surprise waiting for her on Easter morning.

So do I have advice for you, if this day is in your future? I'm no expert, but I highly recommend having a plan in place before your face turns to Jell-o and you're touching your finger tips together trying to pause time. What will you say when your little sweet one asks for the whole truth and noting but the truth? Are they ready to hear it? Are you ready to tell it?

This one was a little tough on all of us, I have to tell you. One less innocent childhood sparkle in her eyes, but in its place is a mark of maturity. She stands a little taller in the world.

And my personal favorite: she's gained an understanding that she can count on us to tell her the truth.

 

Happy Easter!